Wednesday, 30 September 2020

Comment Wall








5 Comments:

At 22 October 2020 at 12:49 , Blogger Rylie Harris said...

Hi Siddharth! I just read the first part of your story, and so far, I am really enjoying it! I liked how you used a version of The Ramayana that you had heard from your grandmother! That certainly adds a personal aspect that makes it unique, and I'm sure it is easy to think of twists to add since you are already very familiar with the story! One thing that I found was that your page was a bit hard to navigate. I wasn't really sure how to get from the first story back to the Comment Wall link after clicking the home page button, but maybe I just missed something! I would maybe add some dialogue as well in the future, if there were anywhere in the story you could put some in. Otherwise, I really loved everything else, you did a great job of storytelling and setting up the scene!

 
At 26 October 2020 at 06:48 , Blogger Manny said...

Hi Sid,
I am very glad to learn more about Hanuman as he is one of my favorite characters we have been introduced to so far. I felt like it would have been nice to learn more about him and you certainly delivered on that, so thank you! Also, it is nice to hear that you were able to use a story that your grandma told you from childhood in this story. I like how Hanuman is just and innocent child that unfortunately passed because he wanted candy. However, I find it very interesting that Vayu basically threatened to kill the Earth so that his son could be reborn. I also find it amusing that he lost his powers because he was a little rascal as a kid growing up, but was later able to use his powers for good. Another thing I like is how the ending is informative in that he actually jumped, not flew, in order to help Sita, and that people still use his name for strength.

 
At 15 November 2020 at 20:07 , Blogger Emily M. said...

Hey Sid, I just finished reading your story for your project! I really enjoyed it and you did a fabulous job! Hanuman has been one of my favorite characters in the ramayana and I really liked your rendition! I like how you also grew up with these stories and were able to get help from your grandmother with details like the the father not letting earth have air. A parent's love can be a great force as we can see with your story. I also wrote a story about hanuman as a microfiction. Feel free to check it out! It centers on his leap. I also like that you included the detail about how people still pray to him for strength and courage. I also really liked the way you chose the details for your page it fit the theme very well! Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more of your stories.

 
At 29 November 2020 at 20:29 , Blogger Shaun Kim said...

Hi Sid, I really enjoyed reading your story! Hanuman is one of my favorite characters from Ramayana and I'm glad to have read some stories about him. There were some confusion in the story though. I didn't understand why Gods would refuse to bring him back to life because it's against nature, but after Lord Vayu gets rid of air on Earth, they decide that Hanuman is an incarnation of Lord Shiva so they have to revive him after all. It all seems so random. Maybe if you elaborated on that a little more, it would be easier to understand the story as a whole. I'm not sure if that's actually your fault either since doing reading in this class made me realize that there were a lot of contradictions and different editions to the stories in Indian Epics. Either way, great job and good luck on your finals.

 
At 30 November 2020 at 00:29 , Blogger Riley said...

Hi Sid!

Your Portfolio looks pretty decent so far. I like that it's colorful instead of just being black and white. I also enjoyed reading your first story about Hanuman. I was so shocked when he turned into ashes after trying to eat the sun. I hadn't read the source material for this story, but I did read another person's story where he was able to swallow the sun so it was unexpected that he actually died from it, in my opinion.

I have one suggestion for you and that is to potentially change the background photo or the color of your font as I found it hard to read. The image behind and the font are too similar and it made reading the words kind of difficult. Other than that, the story read smoothly and I loved the detail that you included in your Author's Note about your grandmother.

Great work! I look forward to seeing what this turns into.

 

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